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What do you consider a friend?
Posted on Jul 11th, 2008
by 
elisa
elisa
What do you consider a friend? and does this include a definition or label of friend or otherwise?
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elisa
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A person who has no real apparent reason in my life but just is…. and they are there for me… whatever, whenever… and I for them…
so? it's purpose based for you? what happens when this symbiosis ends? no more friend?
Purpose is the opposite of what I meant… They have not real purpose, there is deeper connection. and if the purpose ends and no more friend… if there where a purpose. letting go is the key. I do not have ownership of friends, friendship is unconditional, as love is unconditional… Love is all there is… I do not have to be your friend to Love you… etc…
Oh. Well thank you for sharing that. It has been a very interesting day with this question. I asked it in other places. I rather think if I were a visiting alien, from many of their answers, that I would really revolt from the word and idea friend. Full of sick and twisted expecations of what another human is to do for one that will not do for self. Full of demands to carry another's baggage for them with a reprisal if that is refused. Perhaps I have interpreted incorrectly, however friend seems to hold a lot of fear, false limits, and expectations with it. Some of the people I spoke to might try interviewing a friend as one would a nanny :D
I laughed, but from your experience of the day, you would be correct… First I think we need to find the friend from within… are do we treat ourselves… I think you may wish to find a new bunch of friends…. there is a bunch of juicy ones over at Johns blog!
I have a lot of ideas re: what a friend is….but no time to answer this morning. Perhaps later. Great question, btw.
From my experience, friend is a relational perspective, encountering “other” , or self, with curiosity, openness and equanimity. It might be apt to speak of “friending” as an active, dynamic process rather than the attempt at stasis in solidifying “friend”.
Interesting question.
I used to think a friend is someone who knows you and love you anyway.
Now I think a friend is someone who helps you grow.
That's the simple version.
BTW- I would like to hear your definition/description/terms of agreement:-)